Creative Ways to Be a Gender-Affirming Friend

Being a supportive friend to someone exploring or affirming their gender identity is about more than just using the right pronouns (though that’s important too!). True affirmation is woven into daily actions, thoughtful gestures, and a willingness to celebrate your friend for who they are. If you’re looking for creative ways to be a gender-affirming friend, here are some ideas to get you started.

1. Pronoun Check-Ins, But Make Them Fun

Instead of awkwardly asking, “What are your pronouns today?” try something playful:

- “Hey, do you have any new pronouns I should hype up today?”

- “What’s the vibe? Same pronouns or a remix?”

- “Pronoun check! Let me know how to cheer you on.”

Making it casual and light shows that you care without making them feel like a burden.

2. Help Curate a Gender-Affirming Wardrobe

Clothes are a huge part of gender expression, but experimenting with style can be overwhelming (and expensive).

- Offer to go thrifting together for gender-affirming outfits.

- Trade clothes if you have pieces that fit their vibe.

- Hype up their looks with genuine compliments—“That jacket? Iconic.”

3. Affirm in Private, Not Just in Public

It’s easy to affirm someone when you’re out and about, but doing it when no one else is watching? That’s true allyship. Send a text saying:

- “Just thinking about how cool you are and how your gender expression is ✨ chef’s kiss. ✨”

- “Hope you’re feeling seen and affirmed today. If not, let me be the first to say—you’re amazing.”

4. Gender-Affirming Playlists, Books, and Art

Media can be a powerful tool for gender exploration and affirmation. Create a custom playlist, send a book recommendation, or share artwork that aligns with their gender journey. Some ideas:

- A “Powerful Nonbinary Energy” playlist.

- A book by an author with a similar gender identity.

- A commissioned piece of art with their chosen name or pronouns.

5. Be a Safe Name & Pronoun Practice Partner

If your friend is experimenting with a new name or pronouns, offer to help them practice in a low-pressure environment. Try:

- Casual conversations using their chosen name/pronouns.

- Mock introductions: “Hey, this is my friend [Name], they’re amazing at [talent/hobby].”

- Writing little notes or texts with their chosen name so they see it in action.

6. Celebrate Gender Euphoria Moments

Gender euphoria—those moments when someone feels truly aligned with their gender identity—is worth celebrating! If they get gendered correctly, love how they look, or feel good in their skin, match their excitement.

- “YES! That’s the energy! You look so YOU today.”

- “I love seeing you feel at home in yourself.”

- “You’re glowing. It’s giving ✨gender euphoria✨ and I love that for you.”

7. Respect the Evolution

Gender is fluid for many people, and what feels right today might shift tomorrow. Instead of reacting with surprise or doubt, embrace the changes with enthusiasm. A simple “That’s awesome! Tell me more about what feels good” goes a long way.

8. **Normalize Gender-Affirming Habits in Your Own Life**

The best way to show support? Make gender inclusivity a natural part of your world.

- Introduce yourself with your pronouns, even in cisnormative spaces.

- Use gender-neutral language when addressing groups (“Hey friends!” instead of “Hey guys!”).

- Call out misgendering when your friend isn’t around so they don’t always have to fight that battle.

9. Surprise Them with Gender-Affirming Gifts

Gifts don’t have to be grand—small, thoughtful gestures can be deeply affirming. Ideas include:

- A custom keychain with their chosen name.

- A gender-affirming skincare or self-care kit.

- A pin or patch that aligns with their identity.

10. Create a “Hype File” for Bad Dysphoria Days

We all have tough days, and gender dysphoria can hit hard. Make a digital or physical “hype file” for your friend—a folder of texts, voice notes, or affirmations they can look at when they’re struggling. Include:

- Messages hyping up their gender expression.

- Screenshots of compliments they’ve received.

- Affirmations like: “Your gender identity is real, valid, and worth celebrating.”

The Bottom Line: Show Up with Love

Being a gender-affirming friend is about more than words—it’s about showing up consistently, celebrating your friend’s authenticity, and making their journey a little brighter. Your support might be exactly what they need to feel safe, seen, and celebrated.

How do you affirm the gender of the people in your life? Drop your favorite tips in the comments!